FOC Myths & Facts

Most Common Myths Regarding Support, Parenting Time, Custody and the Friend of the Court

Myth: There is a specific age in Michigan where a child gets to decide where he/she wants to live.
Fact: No. The preference of a child is only one of twelve factors when considering a custody change. The age and maturity of a child may be considered by the court when considering a custodial change. The best interest factors may be found at:

Myth: Joint physical custody means equal parenting time with both parents and no child support.
Fact: No. Joint physical custody may result in an array of parenting time arrangements to fit the needs of child/ren and support is calculated accordingly.

Myth: We each have a child living with us therefore neither of us should pay support.
Fact: No. The number of children and their placement are only two issues considered when calculating the appropriate child support obligation. The child support guidelines also calculate a child support obligation based on each parent’s actual income or the ability to earn income.

Myth: If I can’t see the children, I don’t have to pay child support / If I didn’t get child support, I don’t have to send the children.
Fact: No. Child Support and Parenting Time are considered separate issues for enforcement purposes.

Myth: A parent can sign off his/her parental rights.
Fact: No. The prosecuting attorney may file a petition to terminate parental rights in cases of severe abuse and neglect; however a parent cannot sign a document that releases his/her responsibility to support the child.

Myth: I have the right to know how the child support money I pay is being spent.
Fact: No. There is no law that mandates the recipient of support to account for how he/she spends the support money.

Myth: If I send a letter stating I’m unemployed, the FOC will change the amount I pay for child support.
Fact: No. Child support can only be modified by either Party filing a petition, or requesting a review of support if it has been three years since the last review of support.

Myth: If I tell something to one person in the government, everyone else in the government who needs to know will find out about it.
Fact: No. Reporting of information must be done in writing directly to the Friend of the Court office.

Myth: Even though the order says I must pay child support through the Michigan Child Support Disbursement Unit (MiSDU), I can make support payments directly to my ex without consequences.
Fact: No. Direct payments are considered gifts and will not be credited against your support account unless a signed written request to forgive such money is sent to the FOC by the recipient of support.

Myth: If I send a letter stating that the other parent and I have reconciled or our children have gone to primarily live with the other party, the Friend of the Court will stop charging child support.
Fact: No. The parties should meet with their Case Manager and sign a Consent Order for Temporary Suspension of Support due to reconciliation or change in the minor child/ren’s placement.

Myth: My intercepted tax return will cover the child support so therefore I don’t have to send in this month’s support.
Fact: No. Child support must be paid on a monthly basis. Intercepted taxes may take up to six months to be applied to the account.

Myth: My child told me that the other parent was mean and yelled at her last weekend and she doesn’t want to go back, therefore she should not have to go.
Fact: No.The court order regarding parenting time must be adhered to. The custodial parent is responsible for ensuring the child follows the court ordered parenting time and risks being in contempt of court if the order is disobeyed.

Myth: I am unhappy at work. If I quit my job and take a lower paying job or start my own business, child support will be reduced to reflect this change.
Fact: No. If a payer of support quits a job, the Court may view the act as an unexercised ability to earn income and a support order may not be modified.

Myth: My children are with me during the school break, therefore I do not have to pay child support during this time.
Fact: No. The number of overnights that a child is which each parent is already taken into account in the child support calculation.

Myth: If I write a letter to the FOC saying I am injured and cannot work, child support will stop.
Fact: No. Child support will continue to charge and the Friend of the Court may continue to enforce support unless a doctor note is provided and/or until the order is modified by the court. If this situation should occur, you should immediately contact your Case Manager.

Myth: The other parent has not seen my child in a long time therefore he/she no longer has any parenting time rights.
Fact: No. The Friend of the Court may continue to enforce the present parenting time order until the order is modified by the court.

Myth: The other parent and I have come to an agreement about parenting time and child support. If I send our agreement to Friend of the Court this is sufficient.
Fact: No. The Friend of the Court will continue to enforce the exiting parenting time and child support order until a new order is modified by the court. You may request the Friend of the Court assist you in preparing a Consent Order.

Myth: My child is involved in activities that take precedence over parenting time. The other parent must make arrangements for the child to participate during his/her parenting time.
Fact: No. Each parent decides what activities the child participates in, if any, during his/her parenting time, however, if the activity also falls on the other parent’s parenting time, then the parties should agree that the child/ren are registered for the activity. Each parent should take the child/ren to their agreed upon extracurricular and sporting events when it falls on their parenting time.

Myth: My child is now living with me. If I write a letter advising the Friend of the Court of this, custody will change and child support will stop.
Fact: No. If the child is residing with the payer of support on a permanent full time basis, the child support may be abated to reflect this change, but custody will not change until a petition is filed to modify the order, or until a stipulated order is entered by the Court.

Myth: It is important to discuss issues of child support and other legal issues with my children so that they will understand how unreasonable the other parent has been.
Fact: No. Court related issues absolutely should not be discussed with the children. Doing so only exposes the children to unnecessary stress, conflict, and confusion. Both parents should do their utmost to keep the children “out of the middle.”


Friend of the Court

Monday – Friday
8:00 am to 4:30 pm


24 Hour Toll Free
Account Information Line



31 S. Division Street
Coldwater, MI 49036

Lona Julien
Friend of the Court Director/Domestic Relations Referee